The Bizarre Life of Nightcloud and Scourge
by Empress Tansy
Summary: Win a Date with Nightcloud has come to an end, but that doesn't mean Nightcloud's any less crazy! Now she has a life with her villainous mate, Scourge, whom she forced to 'feel the love'. This spin-off will be a collection of one-shots detailing events of Nightcloud and Scourge's life together. What crazy things will happen when an insane she-cat marries a totally evil tom?


_**(A/N: So...since I ended Win a Date with Nightcloud, I decided to do start a new series of short stories detailing Nightcloud's life with Scourge. This will basically be a collection of one-shots, each one with a different event. I'll update...um...whenever. It's just a small writing project I'm doing for fun. Anyway, I hope you enjoy The Bizarre Life of Nightcloud and Scourge.)**_

The Wedding

"I can't believe Nightcloud is making us wear these awful poofy pink sparkly dresses," a frustrated ginger she-cat growled, tugging at the zipper.

A tabby-and-white she-cat nodded her agreement, shaking in her dress. "I know. But we're the bridesmaids. We have to wear ugly dresses whether we want to or not."

A younger black she-cat studied herself in the mirror, turning around in her pink dress. "I don't know what you two are complaining about. These dresses are beautiful. Mom has great taste."

"Don't call her 'mom'!" the tabby cried, swatting the black cat. "I'm your mom!"

Hollyleaf rolled her eyes. "Fine. My _step-_mom has great taste."

Leafpool nodded, satisfaction glowing in her amber eyes. "Good. As long as you remember who your real mother is."

The ginger she-cat, who was still struggling with her zipper, glared at her friends. "Will one of you two help me?" Sighing to herself, she added, "I must have added a few pounds after I finished Star and Mallow's birthday cake..."

"Oh Tansy," Hollyleaf laughed, tugging at the she-cat's zipper. "Only you could eat an entire birthday cake in one sitting."

"Don't do that with Nightcloud's wedding cake," Leafpool added. "She'd never forgive you."

A black head poked into the room. "Are you three ready? Star and Mallow are already in their flower girl dresses. And Brokenstar's getting antsy in his tux. He hates officiating weddings, you know."

Sighing, Tansy stared at herself in the mirror. "I think I need to hit the gym before flying to Europe next week..."

The three she-cats followed Nightcloud out of the dressing room. The bride was wearing a ruffled green dress and a green veil. Tansy stifled a laugh remembering Scourge's shocked expression when the black she-cat had shown him the dress she was going to wear for their wedding.

"Now, you three wait by the big doors until you hear Jayfeather start playing the piano. Then you walk down the aisle. The grooms will follow you- Bone, Barely, and Boulder are already waiting. Then Star and Mallow will throw their rose petals everywhere. After that Quince will lead Scourge down the aisle, and finally Crowfeather will lead me down the aisle," Nightcloud was meowing, not realizing the bridesmaids weren't paying attention.

"Wait..." Leafpool mewed, "tell me again why my mate- your _ex_- is leading you down the aisle."

"Because my dad's in Argentina," the bride sighed. "Mom says he's hiding because I scare him with my weirdness or something. So I told Crowfeather that he's walking me down the aisle or I'm catnapping your grandkits."

"Is Jayfeather playing the piano yet?" Tansy asked. "I just want this wedding to be over! I swear, when I get married, Ashfur and I are eloping. There will be none of this fancy stuff and uncomfortable dresses."

Hollyleaf snorted. "You're such a grump, Tansy."

"Sh!" Leafpool hissed, straining her ears. "Jaykins just sat down on the piano bench."

Soon the blind tom began playing the old brown, slightly out-of-tune piano. Leafpool, Hollyleaf, and Tansy lined up next to each other as they began strolling down the aisle of Brokenstar's House of Villains- the only place that would allow a wedding between a slightly insane she-cat and an evil tom.

The three she-cats made their way slowly to a low stage, tripping over their dresses the whole way. Once they were standing up on the platform next to a very grumpy-looking Brokenstar, the grooms began padding down the aisle.

"I hate weddings," Bone grumbled.

"I hate tuxedos," Barley growled.

"I look so handsome," Boulder meowed. "Maybe I'll find some pretty she-cat to take out to dinner tonight."

Shrill squeals of joy erupted from the back of the room as the flower girls began bouncing down the aisle. Star and Mallow tossed red and yellow rose petals everywhere, earning them a furious hiss from Mapleshade. "I hate weddings. And flowers. And happiness," the tortie hissed.

Brokenstar's expression softened as the two kits took their place beside him.

"Aren't we adorable?" Mallow squeaked.

"The most adorable," the ragged tabby confirmed.

A low hiss sounded from the back of the room as Scourge and Quince appeared at the doorway.

"I don't want to walk you down the aisle!" Quince spat.

"It's my wedding and you're my mother!" Scourge snarled. "Can't you do something nice for me, just this once?"

Quince rolled her eyes and marched quickly down the aisle, not waiting for her son.

At last Crowfeather and Nightcloud appeared in the doorway and the two paraded down the aisle. Crowfeather looked as grumpy as ever. Nightcloud looked as if she were about to burst with excitement.

"Good, everyone's here," Brokenstar sighed once the two reached the stage. "Let's get this over with."

"Yes," Quince growled. "I'm visiting Socks tonight. I need to be out of here in five minutes."

The tom glared at the groom's mother. "Whatever. Anyway, do you, Scourge, taking Nightcloud to be your lawfully wedded mate? To love her and to hate her and to force her kits to become fighters at the age of one moon and to kill her when she tries to love your kits and to take over the forest and to kill Tigerstar and to attempt to kill Firestar and pretty much everyone else and make your family's life miserable as long as you both shall live?"

"I do," Scourge meowed, wishing Brokenstar had said the traditional cat marriage vows instead of improvising.

The security guard then turned to the she-cat. "Do you, Nightcloud, take Scourge to be your lawfully wedded mate? To love him and to hate him and to be a nagging housewife and to do all the housework and to act as completely insane as possible and to spend every weekend at Smiley Dayz Insane Asylum for the Criminally Insane and to have one million kits that all turn out evil and to make your mate's life as miserable as possible for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do," Nightcloud breathed, looking quite pleased with Brokenstar's speech.

"Then by the power invested in me by turnevilcatsintoweddingworkers dot gov, I now pronounce you villain and insane mate. You may now hug the bride," Brokenstar meowed.

Before Scourge could do anything, Nightcloud grabbed him and pulled the tom into a massive hug.

"Can't. Breathe," the black tom cried, struggling to get out of her grasp.

"I'm married!" the she-cat squealed.

"I hate this dress!" Tansy hissed.

Brokenstar jerked his head toward the unhappy bridesmaid. "How dare you hate Nightcloud's gorgeous choice of dress! You shall die!"

He grabbed a bouquet of red roses from a vase and raised his paw to whack Tansy with the flowers. The ginger she-cat gasped and tried to run off of the stage, but tripped and fell of of the stage. The ragged tom leaped off and whacked her with the thorny roses. "Die! Die! Die!"

Mapleshade, Bone, and Scourge, all interested in a beat-down, all grabbed roses and started whacking cats as well. Nightcloud watched joyfully as Scourge whacked Quince with a bouquet.

"Aren't weddings wonderful?" she meowed.


End file.
